“Everything is insignificant compared
with the moment we see Our Lord in Person
and He looks at us.[1]
Plinio Corrêa de Oliveira
In This Chapter
Examining one’s conscience is a serious action often full of disappointments but does not exclude great calm. As a consequence of God’s great mercy in the face of sin, our faults may be huge, but God’s mercy is infinite.
In his Book of Confidence, Fr. Raymond de Saint Laurent states that Our Lord’s most significant concern is that we become afraid of Him: “ Your most serious faults, your repeated relapses, nothing will discourage Him, so long as you sincerely wish to repent. The more miserable you are, the more He pities your misery, the more He desires to fulfill His mission of Saviour in your regard.” [2]
[1] Undated.
[2] Chap. 1.
A Calm and Sacral Examination of Conscience
Examining one’s conscience is a grace of God. Grace remains during the examination and illuminates the person to know his conscience’s accusations against him. He thus gathers the strength to answer his conscience’s questions. While during the examination of conscience, the person’s attention is turned to himself, he should participate in a dialogue with God, so to speak.
Through my mind, God Himself asks me to examine myself; God Himself gives me light so that I may know myself as I am; God Himself suggests to me to have horror for the sin I committed.
Throughout the examination of conscience, I must pay attention to the good movements of my soul suggested by God. It is as if God Himself were speaking for me, so my examination of conscience should be sacral, calm, serene, respectful, and objective. I must treat myself with complete honesty but with respect. Scripture says that God deals with great respect regarding everything that relates to the human creature, and during the examination of conscience, I must treat myself with that same respect.
One does not examine one’s conscience as if appearing before a police officer who is wielding a whip, but before a father, a heavenly Father who will help my soul examine itself in a supernatural and sacral atmosphere.
These are the premises for an examination of conscience not to be horrifying, exaggerated, or undergo distortions that would make our whole spiritual life misguided or erroneous.[1]
How Our Lady Sees Us
If I want Our Lady to continue to love me as if I were good, I must love others as if they were good. So, looking at my soul, which she knows through and through, she sees that I have affection and love for others and harbor no hard feelings.
Scripture says that the righteous sin seven times a day—such are man’s imperfections. When St. Teresa of Jesus died, a mystic saw her soul descend to Purgatory and genuflect amid the flames. Then she got up and went to heaven. So even the great Saint Theresa had to kneel in the flames.
We must plunge into our subconscious in search of our sins and gauge them point by point: I committed such sin, with such an aggravating circumstance, added by another, then by another, and reached such a point. However, O Lord, O my Mother, I ask thee to pity me because thy mercy is greater than all the grievous sins I have found in me. I need to see these aggravating factors to humble myself, but after my humiliation, I make an act of confidence in divine mercy.
Divine forgiveness is much greater than the immensity of my crimes, so I turn to Mary Most Holy and ask, ‘My Mother, have mercy on me!’ A wonderful invocation is one to Our Lady of Consolation, also called Our Lady of the Divine Love. We must ask Our Lady to give us this divine love and make us excel in it.[2]
David did not have Our Lady, not even Our Lord Jesus Christ. He knew the existence of God and that the world had fallen into sin, but he also knew that he would only be forgiven after the coming of Christ. We have Our Lady, Our Lord Jesus Christ, and an infinity of merciful resources from the New Covenant.
Sin also became more serious because we abused a greater grace. There is more gravity in sin when mercy is greater because mercy is abused. The surplus of mercy is always enormous, but we must humble ourselves more. We should especially turn to Our Lady with all confidence.[3]
Our attitude must be one of confiding, insistent and contrite waiting. We must strike our chest and acknowledge our faults, but we must understand that her mercy is greater than all our faults and that she will not fail to do something. We must thus resist, confident in this light of hope that darkness cannot overcome.[4]
Fra Angelico represents Heavenly Paradise like this
The Compendium of Paradise
The adorable face of Our Lord Jesus Christ stands at the center of all things and all beauties. Our Lord’s Holy Face mirrored God’s holiness in terms intelligible to man. The face, being the perfect symbol of the soul, the perfect creature who is Jesus Christ, would necessarily have the perfect form of beauty that could be found in matter. It would thus represent something ineffable.
At the center of His adorable Face, Our Lord Jesus Christ’s gaze is like the compendium of that whole face. Receiving a look from Him was a great alms, a great mercy; once you saw those eyes, you would need nothing else.
When we arrive in Heaven, we can imagine what it will be like to receive a first glance from Him. There is much talk of the magnificence of heavenly paradise and all that can be seen there. But seeing Our Lord Jesus Christ will be something compared to which heavenly paradise, although necessary, becomes completely secondary. Everything is insignificant next to the presence of Our Lord and his gaze.
Our Lord’s gaze in Heaven will contain a commentary of our entire life, the forgiveness of all our faults, and joy for all our good deeds and virtues. It will be a gaze fixed forever that will never cease to look at us. All this is inexpressible; human language is unable to describe it completely.[5]
Notes:
[1] 1-5-74.
[2] 30-11-88.
[3] 10-18-68.
[4] 10-20-74.
[5] 5-7-66.